Squirrel pants

Aaron was beyond excited to come home, not only to see his beloved (that's me!) and his babies, but also to quit working and go on a year-long vaca!  What could be better than that??  I'll tell you what......squirrel pants.  Yup, you heard me correctly.  Aaron ordered these dumb-ass, idiotic, stupid, mother f***ing squirrel sweat pants and he was more excited to see them than any of us.  He was practically shoving me out of the way and nose-diving to get to the pants:

Two things worth noting:

1.  This is the most ridiculously stupid article of clothing in existence.  The people that invented these should be shot on sight.

2.  This "effortless" picture actually took A LOT of effort.  Aaron is like a girl when it comes to taking pictures.  It was like an actual photo shoot (except not because I can barely take a picture without my finger accidentally making an appearance).  

Overall, these pants could only be dumber if they were those tearaway kind that breakdancers wear.  Not only would he trade our first-born child for these pants, but he actually tried to wear them in public on our date night!  It's obscene!  There are children out there!  This is what I'm dealing with, people!  It'll be a miracle if we make it through this year alive.  Sigh...