Fear...

Fear is something that has been an omnipresence in my life.  My natural, subconscious default has always been fear, not because of any particular happening in my life; I think it was something implanted in me in utero.  Don't get me wrong, fear has it's advantages.  It's been almost like a fair-weather friend, showing up and rescuing me at it's own convenience; keeping me safely cocooned in this little bubble, making me too terrified to break free, like I need the fear to survive, giving me a really warped sense of Stockholm Syndrome.  It gives the illusion of a symbiotic relationship, when in reality no matter how "useful" it's been, for the most part I feel cheated by fear, not overcoming most challenges due in large part to being afraid...afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of just coasting by; it's like I can't win.  I think at 30 years old, I've finally decided to just grab fear by the balls and let it all go.
I'm aware of how this proclamation to run off and travel the world must sound to people.  I'll be the first to admit that it all sounds quite irrational, like we're just running away from the "harsh realities of life" or something equally cliche, but in fact I believe we're running towards something.  It may be gray and murky and far off in the distance, but somehow I know it's an answer to something I've been searching for.  It's the answer to the question "Can I break this cycle of fear?"
Well, I'm done with fear (okay let's be honest, if I even saw a spider right now, I'd still yell for Aaron to come destroy it immediately, but that's normal right?), at least I'm done with the paralyzing fear that keeps me from moving forward or back, just trapped like a mosquito in the amber, waiting to be rediscovered (Jurassic Park shout-out!).  That's not me anymore, I'll be the one doing the discovering, thank you very much.

A Drunken Epiphany...

So, this is us:

This is our family:

And one day Aaron had a drunken epiphany:

Okay, let's backtrack a bit...we're selling our townhouse (if anyone's interested, it's FANTASTIC! Here she is in all her glory:

Okay, personal plug officially over).  We were planning on using the money we make from the house to invest (like smart people) into another house.  One morning, as I was getting dressed for work, my drunken and sleep-deprived other half came into the room and proclaimed that we should sell the house and "take the money and run!"  I laughed him off and went to work, but it stuck with me.  Eventually, I pushed it to the back of my mind and life went on...for a few weeks.  We looked at plenty of decent houses and imagined our lives passing us by in each, yet none of it ever felt quite right.
One day he brought it up again, more seriously this time.  We should take the money, "get out of the rat race" and travel the world.  It sounded like a pipe dream; completely impossible, but incredibly tempting.  I started to actually consider it.  I thought about it all day at work and by the time I got home, it went from a crazy, hair-brained idea in my inebriated boyfriend's head to a totally realistic and do-able feat.  We decided then and there that we would go and take our babies with us...AROUND THE WORLD.
Here are the babies:

Capone is two and a half years old and been with us for two years.  He's a Manchester Terrier and he's incredibly sweet and charming, but can also be mischievous and pretty spastic.  He loves nothing more than to curl up in a warm blanket (which is how he sleeps every night, much to Aaron's disgust).

Kane is currently 7 months old and we got him 5 months ago.  He's a red-nosed pit bull and he literally grew huge before our eyes!  He's the most gentle and sensitive dog I've ever met, but along with his brother he loves to make us crazy.  He loves Capone more than life itself and it's adorable seeing them together.  They fight like all siblings do, but they also love each other dearly and are complete partners in crime. 

So off we shall go, the four of us, carefree idiots throwing all caution to the wind, yet ridiculously happy and simultaneously terrified with our choice to travel the world.  ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!!! (For those of you unaware, "Adventure is out there" is from the Pixar movie Up, which basically encompasses everything I think is wonderful in the world...yes I know that's a pretty intense way to describe a children's movie, but they make some pretty kick-ass flicks).