Halloween

My favorite holiday is definitively, without a doubt Halloween.  Since I was little, I've loved everything from dressing up and eating copious amounts of sugar to being scared out of my wits.  As an adult, I have to admit, the being scared out of my wits part is less fun than it used to be.  I think some of it has to do with my adult-onset paranoia (yes, I just made up a disorder) and the other part is from living on my own.  Technically I live with Aaron, but he's away for work a lot (either because he's out of town or working a night shift) and being creeped out and unable to shut off the lights (or my brain) simply because I watched some massacre movie just doesn't do it for me.  Being terrified should never be done alone, it's supposed to be a unifying experience.

This is probably the first year of my life that I'm not dressing up.  Half because my parents' annual Halloween party was cancelled, half because Aaron is working tonight and half because we want to save money and 4 costumes ain't cheap (how many halves make a whole?  Math was never my thing).  Of course, I still got my babies costumes.  They're not super original, but they were FREE because my mom bought them for me at Home Goods (AKA Heaven), so I figured I'd go with it.
Kane is an old-timey-looking baseball player (let's just say from THE GIANTS!):

Capone is a football player:

Here they are, united in their hatred of their family, forcing them to wear ridiculous outfits:

I get it, these pictures are completely lacking in any sort of quality, but I took them with my iPhone like 3 weeks ago and the dogs wouldn't sit still.  I have since removed the tags and had both outfits tailored (my mom did a fitting...yes, I hear myself and I'll get professional help at some point).  Anyway, this is the extent of Halloween for me this year.  Depressing, but I'll live.  In the past I've decked my entire house in webs and even bought a new friend:

Charming, isn't he?  Mister Charming is in storage this year, so calm down ladies!

Now for the moment you've been patiently waiting for...drum-roll please!  Making their debut, in what would have been the hit of any Halloween party, my parents:

That's right, folks!  My parents' were going to be eggs and bacon (with better outfits underneath, of course).  Oh well, there's always next year!  (We ALL need professional help).

Lastly, no Halloween is complete without decorations!  This year my parents have outdone themselves with this gem I found in their sun-room:

You could have knocked me out with a feather!  I think my bestie Jessica said it best "I don't know whether to cry or puke."
Wishing everyone a safe and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

My So-Called Life

The house-buying couple AKA my new favorite people in the whole, entire world (for whom I'm in the process of erecting a shrine), signed the offer today, meaning we are officially in contract.  Now slow your roll folks, that doesn't mean it's a done deal.  No sirree!  Just to make things extra fun, they have 17 excruciatingly LONG days to back out.  In the meantime, my parents' house is just booming with excitement.  There are 4 of us and 3 dogs on a good day, not to mention the people who are in and out constantly (my brother, his gf and their dog come over everyday), as well as neighbors, cousins and friends.  If these walls could talk, they would say "Help!  These creatures keep multiplying!"  Although, I have to admit, it feels nice being here while my dad is on his way to a full recovery.  It's nice to look back to a week ago and realize that the best possible outcome actually happened.  I feel like we won some kind of God-lottery.

To further complicate matters, we have decided to purchase an investment property and rent it out while we are gone.  To further, further complicate everything (this is getting redundant), Aaron is working night shifts for the next couple weeks, making getting him involved pretty difficult.  We have about 2 hours a day when he's in the house AWAKE to get all the signing and explanations over with, before he dozes off into a peaceful slumber.

While all this crazy is going on around me, I'm still trying to keep in touch with TAD (Travel Agent Deb), who's currently vacationing in Europe, and get everything ready for us to jet off to paradise sometime around the beginning of January.  So, if I'm able to pull it all off we'll be off and running in the next 2 months.  Yikes!  Gentlemen, start your engines...

Timing.....my new best friend

If timing were a person, I imagine she'd smoke a cigarette attached to one of those long cigarette holder thingies.  She would have a big poof of curly, brown hair, with some sort of head-wrap situation holding it together.  She'd dress like a gypsy, layers upon layers of silky robes and scarves, each one purchased at some sort of Lilith Fair type concert.  It goes without saying that she's probably a vegan.  I don't know why I picture Timing as a kooky hippie, but regardless I hold no judgement: she is my new best friend.

My dad almost died last Tuesday.  He had a heart "episode" leading to his internal pacemaker to stop functioning and his heart slowed to a crawl.  Later that night, his heart actually stopped 4 different times and the cardiologist they called into the hospital in the middle of the night told us he was "hanging on by a thread."  They put in a temporary pacemaker while they ran tests and a couple days later the real dual-chamber pacemaker was installed.  He was finally released late Saturday and he's doing fantastic.

It's been a whirlwind of a week.  We have been through extreme levels of shock, terror, despair, stress, helplessness, exhaustion, delusion, elation and peace.  It has been the absolute worst and then best week of my life, quite strange I'm aware.  I've never been in the hospital for extended periods and it's been surreal and taxing, not only for my body, but my mind as well.  I give real props to people who have to go through being in/staying with someone in the hospital because there's no feeling quite like it.  You're on edge ALL THE TIME!  Every time a machine beeps, every time their blood pressure goes up or down, every time the nurse comes in and kicks you out, every time they write some other illegible thing on the whiteboard, I could go on and on.  I have to give props to my mom, she really was the rock: silent and stoic, never leaving and never losing it (which can't be said for myself).  We also had friends and family rush to our sides, which was amazing.  I can't thank Doctor's Medical Center enough for what they did, even though they are short-staffed and closing, they woke people up in the middle of the night and EVERYONE came!  A bunch even offered to come in on their day off to help run tests, which was unheard of.  They were the best group of people and we'll never be able to repay them.  If you're in the health-care field, just know I appreciate you!

Okay, you're wondering when that hobo Timing shows up aren't you?  Well, the wait is over!  So, the day after my dad is released on a clean bill of health, what do you know?  WE GOT AN OFFER ON THE HOUSE!!!  A real, legit, these people loved it kind of offer!  It's mind-numbing because we went from one end of the spectrum of emotions to the other.  Don't get me wrong we're on cloud 9, but it's just so much so fast!  One thing's for sure, that Timing sure is something.

Deep thoughts with Jack Handy...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating...you finish off as an orgasm.